October 2016

Guinea Pigs Prep for Lansdowne Pumpkin Derby

“Last year we were unfairly disqualified,” complained Hans, a senior pumpkin auto engineer at GiddyPigs.com. “It's a conspiracy against us! We read all 18 rules and nowhere does it state that you cannot ride in the pumpkin during the race. Who has a race with no drivers!?! It's not our fault the fat, furless bipeds cannot fit in their pumpkin vehicles!” sputtered Hans. “The age categories are also grossly unfair – we have to race with 14-year-olds, but we only live 5 to 8 years!! And I won't even mention the fact that we also have no thumbs!”

Consumers Choice: gcCafé or gpCafé?!?

GD Cafe

Others are much more skeptical, arguing that GiddyPigs.co is desperate and hopes to capitalize on the popular gcCafé to boost falling profits. Indeed, stocks plummeted last month after it was leaked that the conglomerate had been exploiting its grass-cutting permit and might lose it. The permit allows unlimited access to park, field, and lawn grass at $0.01 per metric tonne. It has been suggested GiddyPigs.com has too long enjoyed a monopoly on grass products, including the popular Giddy Grass Snacks, Grass-to-Go, and Greener Grass Table Wine.