While Butchie was camping last month, photos of Bella, vice-president and Chief Financial Officer, surfaced allegedly confirming that GiddyPigs.com was sold to an unnamed eastern block country for a carrot.
Butchie Seeks Nature Cure for Urban Angst
Many who were concerned for Butchie after his existential crisis last month are hoping that a Labour Day weekend camping trip will provide the tranquility he needs to recharge.
Unfortunately, one of his tweets left many worried that nature may in fact be compounding the urban pig's anxiety level. “ABT2 nap. Hope no cats! What's that noise?!?” tweeted Butchie from his camp site at an undisclosed backyard in the Glebe.
Perhaps more disconcerting is that time for the popular pig to get better may be running out. The Mood Oversight & Medical Marijuana Association (MOMMA) is threatening an Urban Treatment Intervention (UTI) if Butchie doesn't “shape up”, they say. “Look, as large and dependent rodents, our very survival is founded on being adorable and upbeat. We just can't have a guinea pig looking questioningly at humans or showing distress – humans are fickle and we don't want to upset our food supply chain!” screamed Frank, spokesperson for MOMMA.
Others say that MOMMAs around the city are overstepping their authority, rushing to sooth all uncomfortable feelings in a way that gives rodents a false sense of themselves and the world they live in. “Anxiety is a sane reaction to an insane world,” explained Dr. Pigmund Void, “It comes from our powerlessness at birth that is then repeated through life – we should be in crisis!” Dr. Void suggests talk therapy to “get it all out”, but this too is controversial given that guinea pigs tend to have poor enunciation and difficulty staying on topic.
Thankfully at press time Butchie seemed to be showing improvement, tweeting, “AAS*! Looking for AUCE** buffet nearby. DJM***! LOL.” Looks like Butchie just may be able to tackle his demons and avoid a UTI!
*Alive and smiling
**All you can eat
***Don't judge me