An anonymous source, Valmont, has provided the Glebe Report with several disturbing break-up letters to Zeus citing selfishness, food addiction, and general laziness as deal-breakers. It appears that after last month’s publication of his controversial Me-First (MF)TM theory in Psychology Tomorrow, Zeus’ paramours decided to kick him to the curb once and for all.
Zeus ditched on Valentine’s Day!
An anonymous source, Valmont, has provided the Glebe Report with several disturbing break-up letters to Zeus citing selfishness, food addiction, and general laziness as deal-breakers. It appears that after last month’s publication of his controversial Me-First (MF)TM theory in Psychology Tomorrow, Zeus’ paramours decided to kick him to the curb once and for all.
Below are several letters that have now gone bacterial on FootBook:
Dear Zeus: I’m a convert to your Me-First therapy! After applying your easy-to-implement Me-First strategies, I realize you are no longer integral to my happiness. In fact, quite the opposite – you detract from the joy I deserve in my life. Thank you so much for enlightening me through your Me-First research – now I see you for the greedy, user-pig that you are. #FinallyFree!
Bella, GiddyPigs.com Marketing Strategist & former love interest of Zeus
Zeus: I have never met you, but I have seen you butting in line at Bridgehead and getting people to pay for your parsleyccino and salad because you “forgot” your debit card. #YouDisgustMe
Valmont, neighbourhood squirrel
Hey Zeus, you know I love you, but dude, customers are complaining that you keep eating their garnishes when they’re not looking. Also, your bar bill is in the thousands. Sorry, dude, you’re banned. Peace be with you, my furry love sausage. #SorryMan
Liam, Erling’s Variety
Yo Zeus: Fido no like you Zeus. You always let down. You always promise bone and never deliver. Fido going to hang out only with Bella now. You bad pig. #NoLikeYouNoMore
Fido, dog Second Avenue
Not surprisingly, Zeus has not been seen this month at Bridgehead or Erling’s Variety.
Read this article also in the Glebe Report.