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Zeus ditched on Valentine’s Day!

guinea pig with red  hearts and candles

Zeus ditched on Valentine’s Day!

An anonymous source, Valmont, has provided the Glebe Report with several disturbing break-up letters to Zeus citing selfishness, food addiction, and general laziness as deal-breakers. It appears that after last month’s publication of his controversial Me-First (MF)TM theory in Psychology Tomorrow, Zeus’ paramours decided to kick him to the curb once and for all.

Below are several letters that have now gone bacterial on FootBook:

Trouble in Paradise?

two guinea pigs facing opposite directioins

As a Registered Couples Counselor, and the founder of the World Institute of Narcissism (WIN), Zeus is often called upon to assist couples through rough times.

“Bipeds wrongly believe that quadrupeds don’t have relationship problems, that somehow they are immune. That view couldn’t be further from the truth,” explains Zeus. 

This claim is supported by the National Hutchhold Survey (NHS), which reported that 72% of quadruped relationships end in resentment. 

But help is available. 

It's that time of year!

two guinea pigs with gifts of egg and carrot

Zeus' Holiday Manifesto  Happy Suggestions for Holiday Do's and Don'ts

So that I can get good gifts this year The mailroom at GiddyPigs.com has received one been inundated with questions aboutappropriate gifts to give me your guinea pig for Christmas, Hanukah, Ramaadan and  the holidays.

Giddypigs.com Sold for a Carrot!?

guinea pig eating carrot with computer nearby & $10

While Butchie was camping last month, photos of Bella, vice-president and Chief Financial Officer, surfaced allegedly confirming that GiddyPigs.com was sold to an unnamed eastern block country for a carrot. What ensued was a twitter and instagram war between the two GiddyPigs staffers. Enraged, Butchie tweeted, “Back room deal! #traitor” to which Bella coolly responded, “Butchie has never worked at GiddyPigs.com nor does he have any association, formal or informal, with the company, the CEO Zeus, or myself. #Liar.”

Butchie Suffers Existential Crisis!

guinea pig the scream

Butchie Suffers Existential Crisis!

It is with great concern that we report on Butchie's massive existential crisis. “While it is not uncommon for a guinea pig to question his or her existence, it is uncommon for a guinea pig not to eat for more than an hour,” explained Kierpigaard, renowned existentialist philosopher and close personal friend to Butchie.