Zeus ditched on Valentine’s Day!

guinea pig with red  hearts and candles

Zeus ditched on Valentine’s Day!

An anonymous source, Valmont, has provided the Glebe Report with several disturbing break-up letters to Zeus citing selfishness, food addiction, and general laziness as deal-breakers. It appears that after last month’s publication of his controversial Me-First (MF)TM theory in Psychology Tomorrow, Zeus’ paramours decided to kick him to the curb once and for all.

Below are several letters that have now gone bacterial on FootBook:

Trouble in Paradise?

two guinea pigs facing opposite directioins

As a Registered Couples Counselor, and the founder of the World Institute of Narcissism (WIN), Zeus is often called upon to assist couples through rough times.

“Bipeds wrongly believe that quadrupeds don’t have relationship problems, that somehow they are immune. That view couldn’t be further from the truth,” explains Zeus. 

This claim is supported by the National Hutchhold Survey (NHS), which reported that 72% of quadruped relationships end in resentment. 

But help is available.